The secret source of humour is not joy, but sorrow.
-Mark Twain

Humour and good taste are contradictions.
Like a chaste whore.
-George Bernard Shaw

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Chennai, Tamil Nadu, India.

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Wednesday, September 27, 2006
R 'n' N

    I started cracking my knuckles.
    I started biting the skin off the base of my nails.
    I started perspiring.
    I was tensed.
    I looked at the board which read 3:30 and then at my watch. Through the cobwebs, mud, pebbles and other debris that had inevitably managed to gain entry into my Fastrack, with the sun playing a major role, I estimated the time to be around 3:26 PM.
    I still did not have even one ticket for '
    I looked at my friend; Preying Mantis in weak defeat. He smiled benevolently like a priest who had just been ordained and raised his palm in a 'don't worry, machan. It's ok' gesture. I was grateful.
    While this, quite tear-jerking scene unfolded, a guy with the body of a cow who had swallowed a bulldozer, pushed, nope; shoved, nope; flung me a few kilometres out of the way and rushed forward with a wad of white, small, squarish pieces of paper.
    Hormones erupting, I scrambled and ran to the counter and asked the guy in what I thought to be the best grown-up, authoritative voice I had, "Are you cancelling tickets sir?"
    The Bulldozer gazed me stupidly like I was asking for free petrol and after his brain waded out of the muck and hit reason he said brightly, "Yes!"
    I enquired the price and got one ticket, understanding fully the meaning of what somebody meant when he/she/ahem first said, something is better than nothing. But now there was a slight problem. Preying Mantis would be left alone. There was no other movie at the time and moreover Preying Mantis cannot drive a tricycle without making use of his TTK health insurance, let alone a bike. I was in a fix and signalled to the guy behind the counter to let me know if there were any cancellations.
    I then leant against the wall, waiting
    I started cracking my knuckles.
    I started tapping my tummy at regular intervals making a couple of females go hysterical. (I ooze it, people. I ooze.)
    Okay, coming to the episode, it was Preying Mantis who spotted it first. There was a woman standing at the end of the counter. He calmly walked up to her, flirted, plunged his hand inside his pocket, scratched his thigh, plunged again, this time to pull out some money and walked towards me, waving two tickets with a grin on his face that made werewolves look like heavy-duty male models.
    "Wtf have you done !!!??", I started yelling at him. We were stuck with an extra ticket and it did not look too easy to push it off. It was 3:30 PM. I was desperate. And then... a guy walked up to Preying Mantis.
   "You have cancelled tickets?", he queried gruffly.
   "Yup. We've got one ticket for Dor. You interested? ", Preying Mantis replied.
   "Yup. I guess so," lied Preying Mantis without any shame whatsoever.
   "Wow!!!! Hurry up.. Lemme have it, lemme have it, lemme have it...!" , he said, utterly excited and terribly stupid.
   "Hundred bucks. Hard cash."
   "Here goes. Thanks a lot, man."
 And then we took to our heels.
 The poor guy never managed to find us. We saw him in the intermission, though. I very badly wanted to ask him how "DON" was, but restrained myself. Movie was fortunately, amazing. :)

PS: Check out the review

Currently reading:
An Ordinary Person's Guide to Empire
By Arundhati Roy

Currently listening to:
Dizzy up the Girl
By The Goo Goo Dolls

Posted at 01:40 am by sirpy

October 5, 2006   03:06 AM PDT
Thanks a lot, ma'am! Will definitely drop by your blog... :)
Miss Kitschy
September 29, 2006   07:43 PM PDT
Conning innocent people ,ur friend is more like preying mantis.I must say ur a swell writer.
Hey by the way checkout the Seinfeld Fan Fiction on my blog.

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